Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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