i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize