He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
