Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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