I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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