Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
