Umm I'm too high to move.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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