PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
