I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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