oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Girls should come with a carfax report
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize