I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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