Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
