and next time when you feel me up, do it right
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
