so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
