I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
