So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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