Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
