so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
