I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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