Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize