my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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