Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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