Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I lost the right to judge tonight
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
