so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
whose parrot is this?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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