can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
