I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
