I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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