look no pants
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
