They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
