Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
