Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
