just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
