My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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