i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
