lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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