I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
