Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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