Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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