She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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