he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
