Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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