I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize