You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
