You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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