i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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