wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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