first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
