I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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