I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
