some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
cat food counts as protein by the way
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
