Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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