i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
