Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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