One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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