Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
