You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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