I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
