she pinky promised me she was 18
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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