I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Swine flu. Run for my life!
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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