I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
