Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
